Yesterday Hotter, Little Child and I went to see Dr. Kidney, the local nephrologist who will be monitoring Hotter's after-market parts. MFA City's rush-hour traffic did not amuse Little Child, who suggested that I simply run over the cars in our way. I told him I couldn't do that unless I tricked the MFA Minivan out with a monster truck chassis. He loved that idea and we decided that if we ever get rich and crazy enough to do it we should re-christen her "The Mominator."
I was very impressed with Dr. Kidney. Hotter doesn't like her one little bit; he thinks she is a "battle-axe" because in flipping through his chart she grunted upon finding an old, old entry where he left a hospital AMA and said "non-compliant? What's THAT mean?" He also pointed out that the resident working with her (who in giving us the run-down of how the clinic handles transplant patients said "if you're ever admitted--ANYWHERE, FOR ANYTHING--you need to call and let Dr. Kidney know, because when people get admitted and they don't tell her she gets...very upset") was visibly quaking in her presence. I think she is AWESOME and have a small crush now.
The woman doesn't even take crap from pigeons, y'all:
So naturally Hotter thought it would be hilarious if his potassium level came back in the "heart attack" range after yesterday's labs, and Dr. Kidney was all "here, have some powdered medication that refuses to dissolve in water, and do your best to mix it with water then wait for the wicked diarrhea to set in."
Dr. Kidney: 1/Hotter: 0.
Hotter tried to whine about this, but that got him nowhere because the transplant coordinator said it was that or Dr. Kidney'd stick an IJ line in his neck and run dialysis in the ER to pull the potassium out, and I was like "OMG DO NOT ANTAGONIZE THIS WOMAN, HOTTER!" She wants him back in her office at 8 a.m. Monday, partly so that she can get the labs back quickly and partly I think because he tried to give her sass.
I could go off on Hotter on Dr. Kidney's behalf about how authoritative alpha-behavior in male doctors is reassuring and reflects competence but in female doctors it's being a bitch, except I don't think she needs my help; the woman has legitimate reasons to have her underlings stick things in his penis if he doesn't check hisself before he wrecks hisself.
And he knows this and is a big boy, so, yeah. I'll keep y'all posted.